Why are our personal goals so hard to create and achieve? Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr, author of upcoming book The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World offers his perspective on the new year and some personal reflections for you to try. Our attachments to the old ways of being and doing are often the biggest hurdle in achieving goals. We’ll share some ideas on how to let go of your attachments.
About our Guest
The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World, where he builds on the Toltec principals found in his father’s book, The Four Agreements.
- Don Miguel’s Website: http://miguelruizjr.com/
- Pre-order a signed copy: http://www.hierophantpublishing.com/the-five-levels-of-attachment/
Achieving your personal Goals
As I life coach one of my primary responsibilities is to help my clients achieve their personal goals. Here are 3 very simple tips that will help you along your way to achieve your resolutions and goals for this year and feel more successful :
- Clarity: It’s important that you create S-M-A-R-T goals ( Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time Bound) to start off with. Most people stop at just writing a goal statement, but I find my clients with the best results go the next step and ask “what do you want with respect to your goal?”. This is where the higher-level purpose of your goal reveals itself. In the sample below, the higher-level purpose is to look and feel good, be healthy, and have more energy. Let’s say Feb 15th rolls by and you have lost 5 lbs (vs. your goal of 7lbs) but achieve your higher level purpose and you look and feel great. Most people don’t care about missing the goal by 2lbs and still feel successful because they achieved their higher level purpose.
- Motivation: Most goal statements lack meaning, passion, or purpose. Infuse your goal with energy and get clear with “why” your goal matters in the first place. There are two types of motivations intrinsic and extrinsic. In the example below, the intrinsic reward is a higher sense of self-worth, diminishing a sense of guilt, and a better outlook on life itself. Now, that’s rewarding. An extrinsic reward may be something more tangible. Let’s say the client rewards their weight loss by buying a new dress. Spend a few minutes figuring out if you need both types and what those rewards may be.
- Support: While the American pioneering way is to forge unknown territory by ourselves, we can dramatically increase our likelihood of success by finding a friend, and/or getting professional help to achieve goal. Support can come from anyone and many places. Think about your past successes and what helped you move to the next level, was it a book? a friend to keep you company? a professional coach? and start reaching out for help.
- SMART GOAL: I want to lose 7 pounds by Feb 15th.
- What do you want with respect to your goal? I want to look good in my jeans and the extra weight makes everything feel sort of tight. When I reach my ideal weight, I just feel better emotionally and have more energy. Plus, I like the feeling of eating healthy and feeling strong and fit.
- How will your life be different when you get what you want? I won’t have to be deploying my energy thinking about how I look and feeling bad. I can stop my negative self-talk. I’ll feel more attractive and more positive about things that itself will be attract other positive things in my life. I’ll fit into my expensive jeans, which will make me feel less guilty about buying them in the first place.
- What specific resources do you need to get this outcome? I like structure so a book with meal plans will help. I need to have a friend keep me accountable and would like a work-out buddy especially for weight work outs which I dread. I need to save money, so maybe a group class.
Take the 15-30 minutes to consider these outlined questions above and the reward will be more clarity, motivation, and the support you need to achieve your goals.
The most tricky obstacle in achieving your goals are our attachments. For example, my attachment to eating dessert with my family keeps me from achieving my personal goal. Unwinding these attachments are hard because they often relate to specific benefits you get. We’ve called in the experts to help you get to the next level of inner discovery. My radio show with Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. will cover attachments and how they may interfere with your goals. Make sure to tune in tomorrow at 1:00-1:30PT (4:00-4:30 ET). To get more great resources like above go to: http://fireitupwithcj.com/.